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Dating: Locating Mr./Ms. Right? (Part 1)

There are those in the Christian community who diminish the importance of physical appearance in an effort to focus attention on the inward self.

While I’m all for paying attention to the inward person, we must not do so to the exclusion of the outward, or vice versa. Certainly we must understand that the outward is temporal and the inward eternal, but we must also remember that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and are to be brought into subjection to the service of our inner person.

In other words, there is a balance to be discovered, maintained, and as time takes its course, revised with regard to our spiritual-physical equilibrium.

Thinking about outward appearance: I believe we should take deliberate advantage of the resources available to us in order to care for our appearance. There is no excuse for looking unkempt, unattractive, or un-stylish. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that God designed us to enjoy physical attraction, all within His bounds, of course. Sexuality and attraction—of which appearance is a significant part—is designed by God and must be managed carefully, just as all His other gifts.

This said, I don’t think "His bounds" dictate that women are supposed to dress frumpily. Skirts drift up and down the leg according to the latest trends, and this is fine. The same may be said for the cut of blouses and the occasion you are dressing for. Each calls for consideration of the message you wish to deliver—and make no mistake, there is nothing wrong with contemplating the message and the delivery; in fact, you should carefully consider the message you intend to convey.

Two thoughts are important for our purposes: a) just because a stylistic trend is set, doesn’t necessarily mean that particular style will look nice on you, and b) styles sometimes push the limit of modesty and fail to leave much to the imagination.

Take advantage of the books and resources available that guide you to the best colors and style for you to wear. Keep in mind, the feminine form is designed by God to get a man’s attention. This is as it should be, but keep them guessing and wondering until Father leads you to the right guy.

Preston Gillham

About the Author

As a co-founder, Preston Gillham led Lifetime for 30 years. Preston is a writer, speaker, and leadership guide. He has authored numerous articles and several books including No Mercy and Battle for the Round Tower. He blogs on “Life and Leadership”. More about Preston, his writings, speaking, and his consulting practice can be located at PrestonGillham.com.