God's Word declares that I've died to my old ways and now I'm a holy saint, that in Christ, my new heart is as pure as a snowflake. This is the truth.  But to my dismay, my experience is often in conflict with this truth. 

"Grace makes beauty
out of ugly things
Grace finds beauty
in everything
Grace finds goodness
in everything"
- Grace by U2

I mean, just this morning (after I'd written on the topic of marriage for four weeks in a row), I spoke rudely to my sweet wife. I was tired. I was frustrated about something that I don't even remember. She was sitting at the table eating breakfast, and I acted like a hypocritical jerk. That may not be who I am, but that is how I acted today. She's hardly comforted by new life in Christ when I'm acting selfish.

I love to dwell on God's grace, but I got to thinking: grace is not just a pie-in-the-sky activity reserved for God. I need His grace, no doubt about it. But I also need grace from the people in my life, especially my wife, and she needs grace from me. We both need to know that we are safe with each other. We need to know that our spouse is not keeping a record of our wrongs.

For a marriage to thrive, there must be an abundance of grace, because even the most Christlike among us expends a great amount of energy being self-absorbed and narcissistic. I'm thankful that my wife is a woman of grace, and I'm sad that she has to dish it out as often as she does.

Does your mate know that you've forgiven her? Does he know that you're not holding his mistakes against him. If you're wondering, "Well you don't know how hurt I am. It's impossible to overlook this. I can't do it. I can't forgive." You're right. You can't, but God can do it through you.

And without grace, your marriage will feel lifeless.