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How Do I Know If I Am In Love? (Part 1)

How do you know when you are in love?

As you have probably figured out by now, there is no such thing as a love formula, nothing to tell you absolutely that you are in love or you are not. So while I cannot answer the question directly—and no one can by the way—I can offer a few indicators that you can watch for that might assist in your quest to get this right.

I’ve organized my thoughts into eight main ideas. They may seem a bit random, but given the multiple fronts love can occur upon, perhaps my roaming thoughts will serve us better.

First, I do not subscribe to the notion that there is one special person just for you and if you miss that person you have missed God’s perfect will for you and your life will never be all you dreamed it would be. God is not that small, and neither is love.

Second, the power of attraction between men and women is an amazing thing.

When you consider the amount of ink devoted in literature, poetry, and lyrics to love, and when you consider how many times people make mistakes in their love lives, you get an idea of how complex love is and how powerful the attraction of love is.

Given this, I do not subscribe too much to the notion of "falling in love." I think it is more accurate to say you grow into love and fall into infatuation.

The allure of affection, closeness, intimacy, acceptance, companionship, desire, and bonding at a deep level with another person are easily mistaken for the force of sexual desire and the infatuation of sex appeal. Don’t get me wrong, sex appeal is a wonderful thing and should be enjoyed and celebrated. However, it must not be mistaken for love. Infatuation is like betting on the lottery. Love is like having money in the bank.

Preston Gillham

About the Author

As a co-founder, Preston Gillham led Lifetime for 30 years. Preston is a writer, speaker, and leadership guide. He has authored numerous articles and several books including No Mercy and Battle for the Round Tower. He blogs on “Life and Leadership”. More about Preston, his writings, speaking, and his consulting practice can be located at PrestonGillham.com.