Home Menu

How Do I Know If I Am In Love?
(Part 4)

Points six and seven are about pragmatism. It is easy to be intoxicated on the aroma of love’s allure to not evaluate matters of importance.

Sixth, love does not always agree on the details, but love always has the fundamentals clearly in focus.

In other words, it is diversity and uniqueness that prompts you to love carrots and him to hate them. However, you both better be of one mind when it comes to the important issues in life: where you are with Jesus Christ, family planning, financial planning, in-law compatibility, long-term goals, morality, ethics, etc.

You don’t get married—or fall in love—to change someone. A lover is not a project! If you want one of those, get a dog or grow a garden. If the foundation is solid, then exercise a great deal of grace and mercy on the details. If you do so, then the world will keep spinning. If you attempt to control—or he tries to manage you—then life will grind to a halt.

Seventh, if you have not had a good fight and loved each other through it, then you do not know yet if you love each other. Fighting is part of being a strong person. Tranquility signals too much sacrifice of opinion and personal perspective.

So, observe conflict. If your relationship withers, you are not in love. Love is consistent day in and day out, stormy weather or picnics in the park. Emotional infatuation is fickle like the direction of the wind and the waves of the seashore.

Seek counsel from your friends as well as from those who are older and know you well. Determine that you will work diligently to ask yourself what you are seeking in a mate. Work on this list until you are certain you have been honest with yourself. Then, and only then, evaluate the person you have in your sights according to this list.

Get assistance making sure you are honest about the list…and your evaluation of it. This list will reveal the desires of your heart—if you are honest—and God promises He will grant you the desires of our heart.

The hard part is not whether or not God will do what He promises. The difficulty lies in carefully defining "desire." This is where lists and friends are invaluable.

Don’t settle for less than He has in mind by casting your dream on any old guy instead of looking to locate the man God dreams of giving you. Steady as she goes until the right person comes your way.

Preston Gillham

About the Author

As a co-founder, Preston Gillham led Lifetime for 30 years. Preston is a writer, speaker, and leadership guide. He has authored numerous articles and several books including No Mercy and Battle for the Round Tower. He blogs on “Life and Leadership”. More about Preston, his writings, speaking, and his consulting practice can be located at PrestonGillham.com.