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I’ve Been Thinking (Part 2)

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I remember being in a meeting a few years back where someone asked the group to answer the question, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” It was a poignant moment. We all realized in a rather short period of time just how much fear can dictate our actions. No one likes to be afraid. But, fear is a huge motivator in our lives, usually toward the negative. When God starts bringing out our issues of fear, most likely through removing any iota of control we believed we had, it can get rather nasty. We don’t like it because it exposes our truest state of vulnerability and inadequacy apart from Christ. We’re kind of dense really; Jesus told us just how out of control we are; but we don’t want to hear it. “I am the vine (the power source, the stabilizing factor, the one in control), you are the branches (the glorious display of those characteristics); abide (rest, trust, let go) in me; for apart from Me, you can do NOTHING!” (John 15:5). I don’t know how much more out of control being able to do nothing can be.

But wait; there is a part for me to play in this, right? Now I’m really confused. How can I do “nothing” and still have something to do? Ah, the mystery, it’s truly beyond us. Exactly. I’m seeing one thing in the midst of all of this. If I believe I can be God, and be in control, then I will certainly have huge expectations upon myself. And if I believe we’re all supposed to be God, then I will have those expectations for others, and they will have them of me. So, now my search for control includes living up to all the expectations of being something I am not capable of being. Whew, this is exhausting.

What if it’s a lot simpler than we make it? What if my role, my part to play in this journey of life, is nothing short of a miracle? Maybe that’s the whole point. I can and never will be God; therefore, I can’t and never will be in control. But, I’ve got a destiny, a purpose, an adventure to live. Is it possible that somehow I can come fully alive to the Truth that I’ve been set free from the need to control anything, and that I have total acceptance apart from anything I accomplish? That would be a miracle. What if my role in this is simply to discover how free I really am? It seems so darn impossible. Every time I get a taste of it, really experience freedom, it seems only seconds before I’m figuring out how to control that very experience.

So, I’m thinking…and I think God is thinking with me. What is He thinking about? Me; how much He loves me and desires me; how miraculous it is that I even think about Him some of the time. He’s not worried about me trying to be in control, you see, He’s pretty well convinced that I’m not. And, He’s pretty sure that someday I’ll be convinced of it as well. So, for now, He’s thinking that He likes me to think about Him and He’s okay with where that takes me.

About the Author:

Laurie is a part of a wonderful ministry community in Woodstock, GA called, Grace Connections, Inc. where she serves as the Director.   She is passionate for the church to know and live in the freedom of the lavished love of Jesus and the grace found in true community.  She stays busy teaching conferences, retreats and Bible Studies both here in US and around the world.

Laurie Troublefield

About the Author

Laurie is a part of a wonderful ministry community in Woodstock, GA called, Grace Connections, Inc. where she serves as the Director. She is passionate for the church to know and live in the freedom of the lavished love of Jesus and the grace found in true community. She stays busy teaching conferences, retreats and Bible Studies both here in US and around the world.