Lifeless (a.): Without life; Dead: lacking warmth, interest, brightness, without feeling, extinguished; Dull: boring, tedious, not feeling or felt keenly

Have you ever felt this way in your marriage?

How many couples do you know who are struggling in their marriages? Are you struggling? Do you sometimes just want to say, "I don't want to try any longer. I am disillusioned with marriage. I'm tired. I'm unhappy."

In all my years of counseling I have found this to be true: You may go to a retreat or a conference and come away so motivated, with ten books and twelve lists of what to do to infuse some life into your dying marriage. And you make such an enthusiastic start'and try valiantly to persevere'but you wear out. You try to be the "Total Woman," and you wind up totaled! You try to be the "Tough and Tender" husband, but instead you just get tired. Oh, some of you will last longer than others, but we will all wear out eventually. Why? Because God never intended for us to "make our marriage work," or to be the perfect spouse. Indeed, He never intended for us to "live the Christian life." He did not even equip us to do this, in our own strength. Instead, He sent the Holy Spirit to live within us to do it all for us.

That is the one vital truth you must see: YOU CAN'T. BUT CHRIST CAN. Remember He has said (John 15:5), "Without Me you can do nothing" and that includes being the wife or husband that you should be in your marriage. I use the word "should" deliberately. We stood before God and made all sorts of promises the day we exchanged rings, right? And a promise should be kept; it is a mark of integrity, character, and backbone.

There are two facts that you need to know when you start a revitalizing project in your marriage. The first one is knowing how to let Christ live through you in your relationship. The second is to know the needs of your spouse so you can allow Christ to meet those needs through you. (You can't. Got that?)

We'll discover more of God's truth on the matter next week.