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How does a marriage start-out flying high on the wings of love, only to descend into the depths of lifelessness?

Self-absorption is the downfall of marriages. Nagging, bringing up past hurts, using superlatives--you never, you always--when frustrated, not listening or responding, critical remarks instead of praise or compliments, silence--all of these things plant seeds that breed lifelessness.

One of the deterrents to communication is the inability to forgive. No, you can't forgive her for the hateful things she has said and done. No, you can't forgive him because of his wandering eye and constant comparison where you always fall short. No. YOU CAN'T'BUT CHRIST CAN and He lives within you to do just that. Our album, Receiving and Granting Forgiveness, would be very helpful for you if you have festering wounds that call for forgiveness on your part.

Then there's commitment. Sometimes commitment is the only thing that holds a marriage together and a shallow commitment will be shattered pretty quickly with little hurts, growing into medium-sized hurts and finally there are mountains that you haven't the energy to climb. You look at them and say, "I don't want to try any longer. I'm disillusioned with marriage. I'm tired. I'm unhappy."

I understand. I've been there. For years I "held on to the knot on the end of the rope." Then someone hinted to me that Christ was pulling on my feet'trying to get me to let go! But I was so stubborn! Not until I abandoned all hope and sadly said, "I can't. I give up. You do it, Lord," did I begin to feel the power infusing into our tattered lives, our weary souls and our lifeless marriage.

It isn't your love that is going to hold your marriage together and it certainly can't be accomplished in your strength. No. Marriage holds the love together as you allow Christ in you to bring new life to your lifeless marriage.