You are probably aware that generally folks talk in terms of four temperament types: phlegmatic, melancholy, choleric and sanguine. Temperaments can be further divided into personality and flesh (false personality). I believe that God, using our parental gene pool, designs each of us with a dominant Temperament type. Folks who never come to know the Lord are stuck living in the Fleshly aspect of their Temperament. Those who place their confidence in Christ as life have a moment by moment opportunity to allow Him to live through their Personality. In your case the dominant Temperament is apparently Melancholy, thus your dominant Personality type is Intellectual and your dominant Flesh type is Pessimistic. Because we are self centered at birth we come out of the womb looking at life through a filter that is colored by our Flesh type. As well, I would say that you are not only a Pessimistic type but also an Internalizer.
A fundamental characteristic of this Flesh type is to “take everything personally” and assume “my fault” at every turn. Emotions are often suppressed and repressed. They think poorly of themselves. They are prone to depression and extended periods of the blues. There motto is “better to keep quiet and let others think I'm a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”
This describes your Flesh but not you. You are the son of the King. You have the Mind of Christ. You are valuable. You were made to laugh. You were made to share the wisdom which God has placed in you. Further you were made to grow along every personality trail. Remember we are being “conformed into the image of Christ” as we are being “transformed by the renewing of our minds” with the truth of who we are in Christ. This is being done so that we can minister to everyone according to their need. In other words the Dependent and Pessimistic respond to the Good News best when it is delivered Harmoniously and Intellectually. The Compulsive respond best when they are met nose to nose with a Tenacious presentation of the Gospel. Note how Jesus (Harmonious) dealt with the woman (Dependent) at the well versus how He (Tenacious) dealt with Nicodemus (Compulsive).
We must recognize that Jesus in us will put us in situations that will stretch us beyond our comfort zone so that we can trust Him to minister appropriately.
Allow Jesus to laugh through you and speak through you. It will feel risky, but allow the perfect love of Christ for you to cast out fear which seeks to control you. It will be uncomfortable for awhile. Nevertheless it is the new creation that is you and it fits.
