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Is “No” an Option

God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. I Corinthians 1:9

I remember reading an article about marriage, “Does Your Husband Need You?” The gist of it was something like this: Of course, you do fix his meals-but he could hire a cook if you were not around. You do clean his house and iron his clothes-but he could employ a maid who might be more efficient. You did give him his children, but maybe he doesn’t want any more. What are you giving your husband that only his wife can give? Does your husband need you? It is so easy to fall into the trap of emphasizing the doing for him rather than being to him.

Christianity is a relationship. I know that you’ve heard that, but what does it mean? It means that I have been created for fellowship with the Lord and no one can take my place in His life-I’m His bride-His wife! Anything that separates me from Him, His presence, or His companionship is damaging our relationship. Having too many duties to do can actually hinder loving my Husband and separate me from Him. I can be so busy “doing” for Him that I am not filling my role of “being.”

I spent many long hours “working for God” and “livingfor Jesus.” To me that meant being at the church house every time the doors were open; believing that “no” should not even be considered as part of my vocabulary when asked to perform some extra duty at the church; feeling super guilty when the announcement was made about a shortage of workers for the nursery or teachers for Vacation Bible School, work-day on Tuesdays, and visitation on Tuesday evenings. I know that people won’t come back to the Church if they don’t feel like the nursery is well-staffed, and statistics show that so many children make decisions during Vacation Bible School. Yet, every spare moment from my family responsibilities was already being spent preparing lesson plans for Sunday School and keeping in touch with my fourteen class members, choir practice, and mentoring a new Believer.

Is “no” an option for me when there are so many things that need to be done? Good things. Necessary things.

But I wonder if Jesus would like to spend some quality timewith just me? It’s difficult to accept the fact that I am so special to Him that He longs to be alone with me. I know. He is with me all the time and I could have close communion with Him while painting at the church or stacking cans in the food pantry. I mean those rare times when I’m not telling Him about all my problems or pulling out my list of names that I’m praying for. Times when I am focusing only on being with Him-watching the sunset and praising Him for His art work; smelling the flowers and thanking Him for letting me smell; looking at the moon and stars and reveling in His creative genius. Realizing that we are walking together. He tells me that he is holding my hand. Difficult to comprehend, isn’t it? Walking along knowing that Someone is right beside me and holding my hand but not being able to see Him?

The Lord Himself is my inheritance, my prize.
He is my food and drink, my highest joy!
You have let me experience the joys of life and
the exquisite pleasures of your own eternal presence.”
Psalm 16: 5,11 (TLB)

It is inside this fragile body that life with Him is lived to the fullest and His love becomes our food and drink.


Lord, I want to be your wife-not Your errand boy or a servant in Your house. I want everyone to see us together-watching the love exchange between just You and me. Oh, there are a lot of chores for me to do, but don’t let me get so wrapped up in chores that I don’t have time to sit in the swing with You.

About the Author

Anabel spent decades teaching in many contexts through Lifetime Guarantee Ministries. She has taught countless others how to have a genuine intimate faith and a sound marriage. She shared from her heart about living from the heart. Lifetime’s beloved founder and mentor passed away November 7, 2010. Her legacy and influence are timeless and priceless.