Home Menu

Know Thy Self-strength


My husband and I minister to individuals and couples through Royal Life Ministries in Georgia. We love to give couples hope through sharing our painful but redemptive story. If we can make it, any couple can make it. So what does “flesh” have to do with God redeeming our marriage? Let me clarify that a good definition for flesh is “Men or women meeting their own needs their own way” or “living out of our self-strength.” It’s important to know that God never designed human beings to be able to handle the stress that we are faced with each and every day. That is why HE came to indwell us.

As we share with others their identity in Christ; self revelation must precede divine revelation. A person cannot truly grasp who they are in Christ until their eyes have been fully opened to their unique version of flesh. The flesh is what keeps Jesus from living HIS life in and through us. And we won’t give up on the fleshly living until we are convinced that it is no longer working. That is why a necessary part of a person’s journey is to embrace their own personal brokenness.

I am speaking of a custom-made process that our Heavenly Father takes us through to break the flesh or self-strength so that HE can live in and through us. It hurts to see our flesh and it hurts to embrace our brokenness. IF we do not know what our individual flesh patterns are, we will not understand what our Father is breaking us from. Philippians 3:10 says “that I may know Him (intimately) and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His suffering…” We cannot experience the power of HIS resurrection until we first experience our co-crucifixion WITH Him and join into the fellowship of HIS sufferings. Death must precede resurrection. The truth is we have already died with Christ. The bible says I HAVE BEEN crucified with Christ, Galatians 2:20. But in order to walk out of this truth, I believe we go through an experiential death to self so that we can have revelation of who we really are in Christ. We are indeed a new creation. II Corinthians 5:17

We believe that God often uses relationships to surface our flesh patterns. Marriage is a perfect setting for flesh to become exposed. No pun intended. It’s easy to wear a mask and live in denial when we are with people on a superficial level. But as you know, when you live each and every day in the same home with the same person all masks come off. One persons Flesh or selfishness will often trigger the other’s flesh. When two people are struggling in a relationship, it is imperative that they deal with themselves and leave the other person in God’s hands. I often pray, “God show me what you want to show me about me in this problem.” And “Father help me to view my spouse in the way YOU see him.” These prayers help me cooperate with God’s plan for my growth. In the early days my prayers regarding flesh were: “Yes Lord, I see it and I give you permission to break me from this flesh pattern. I cannot change myself but you can change me.” Now my prayers are often, “Father, thank you that what I just did does not define me. I know it was wrong. Help me to remember who I am and thank you, thank you, thank you that the flesh is NOT who I am. I am forgiven and free. I am a Holy and Righteous Child of God who is loved beyond my wildest imagination.” In the same way I can also say, “Father thank you that what my spouse just did does not define him. Thank you that his flesh is your problem. I choose to view him as YOU say he is in the innermost part of his being.”

Rebekah Royal

About the Author

Rebekah and her husband Tim lead Royal Life Ministries in Newnan, GA. After working through substantial brokenness in their relationship with one another they have turned to help others. Rebekah and Tim are seasoned counselors who offer their clientele the grace of God primarily through counseling and conferences.