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Winning Your Wife With Kindness

Too often men have the attitude, “Male redbirds are prettier than female redbirds; I’m bigger than you are; I can throw a rock straighter than you can; I know which way is north; therefore, you ought to recognize me as your authority.” That goes over like a lead balloon with wives, and no small wonder!

My friend Russ Kelfer makes these points to husbands concerning submission: “No place in Scripture do we read, ’Husband, see that your wife submits to you….’ One of the great deterrents to wifely submission and one of the great boons to the radical women’s movement has been the autocratic, unloving, insensitive clod known as the evangelical Christian husband. The matter of submission is between a woman and God. The husband’s role is to love (agape) her so much and so consistently that she is drawn irresistibly into the holy condition known as submission.&#148

Consider the man who is the head of a firm and has employees with various job descriptions. To what extent will he go in order to develop a successful company with a loyal, contented and productive work force? How does he motivate his employees to carry out his directives? What would some of his leadership responsibilities include?

  • Establish safe and efficient working conditions
  • Use sound, motivational techniques
  • Provide health care
  • Establish good relationships with employees
  • Be mindful of the emotional needs of each employee
  • Provide vacation time
  • Delegate duties within the bounds of the job description
  • Practice encouragement and constructive criticism 
  • Be consistent as a leader of integrity and fair treatment

If the head of the firm were to incorporate all of these qualities into his leadership style, he would never need to demand, manipulate, or threaten anyone. Instead, because of his altruistic attitude and his overt sense of responsibility to achieve the greater welfare for all, a general desire to do the very best possible work would pervade the corporation. Husbands need to apply these same motivational steps in their “headship” position.

About the Author

Bill founded Lifetime Guarantee Ministries to encourage people to experience the reality of Christ as life. His transparent, humorous, down-to-earth style and sense of humor made him one of the most effective teachers of his time. He communicated with great clarity the full extent of what God accomplished in Christ and what that means for the Christian identity. Although Bill passed away in June 2011, his messages are timeless and will continue to impact generations to come.